ISA HOPKINS

Raconteur. Adventurer. Kimchi Enthusiast.

AmeriChat

In which four AmeriCorps alumni attempt to make plans. Nic:  Hello beautiful people, I know that there was a preliminary push for an Ameri-Hangout on Friday, but I was hoping to get the ball rolling with concrete plans! Who all is available on Friday? Would we want to do dinner? Just drinks? No drinks (I’m kidding, that’s not really an option)? Tentatively an 8 pm meet up in the East Bay? I do.. Read More

JingleChat No. 7

Me: would you judge me if i started eating roadkill?   Jingles:  dude what why would do that…   Me:  it’s just an idea   Jingles: ???   Me: get some good fresh meat for free   Jingles:  that’s not a thing you need to do, right? there are ways to obtain food   Me:  well, yesbut what are the objections to eating roadkill?how would it be different than eating hunted meat?i mean,.. Read More

JingleChat No. 6

(In which Isa goes on a date.) Me:  i am going to try not to do my usual stupid, boy-repelling things Jingles: nice   bringing out the big guns Me: yes trying not to punch somebody   or get drunk   or run away in fear   those are my big guns. Jingles: wow   you’ve actually done those things?   you sound like a dude yourself   no offense Me: I FLIRT LIKE A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BOY   with access to.. Read More

JingleChat No. 5

Jingles: my titties hurt me: hahahahahahaha   did you get a purple nurple last night? Jingles: nah   too many pushups yesterday me: oh i see   you got the MANLY titty-hurt Jingles: yes   the manliest   these manboobs aint going to sprout themselves   at least, not in a sexy way

FemChat 5.0

Isa: please help me to be less of a jackass to the dude i am trying to bang.  PLEASE. Kelly: Do you have a photo of the young man in question?  And/or a brief description of his interests? (Isa sends a link to the Facebook page of the gentleman under discussion.) Isa: also now i feel like a stalker for looking up those photos.  is that more or less normal than punching somebody?.. Read More

Chat From the Past

From deep, deep in my Gchat archives:   me: remember how i almost lived in that socialist puppetry theater collective?!?!    Ruth: yes!   me: and then i totally just ditched them??    Ruth: DID IT BURN DOWN   yes!   me: THEY FOUND ME ON MYSPACE!!!!!

FemChat 4.0

Isa: Also, I just discovered that ‘momoir’ is a word that exists.  Now I want to throw up the delicious tacos I ate for lunch.   Kelly: Momoir is now my new euphemism for diarrhea.

Notes from South America

Tonight is the last “Night of the Living Femikaze” show, ending the sellout run of our first independent Femikaze production.  Today’s post is pulled from my gmail archive in honor of one of the icons who inspires us to make hilarious-ass feminist comedy.   me: google voice doesn’t work in argentina, which is lamesauce it worked in chile!   Kelly: I blame Juan Peron.   me: ha!   Kelly: I blame him for everything,.. Read More

Conversations With White People

At rise: Kelly is making fun of people who carry around books that they never actually read.   Isa: I dunno, I’ve been carrying around this book about Cesar Chavez for a couple months.   Kelly: Why haven’t you read it? You can find out about how he tried to kill your grandfather!   (Long pause.) Isa: Um… you mean Fidel Castro?   Kelly: Oh, right. Different guy.

FemChat 3.0

Kelly: aight  i need to write more on this fan fic toph is being awesome, as usual me: yes toph i heart toph Kelly: i know in the avatar of our lives, you = toph i = katara tom = appa me: hahahahahahahaha that is my favorite thing you have ever said.